Monday, June 10, 2013

Are YOU Making An Effort?

As I type this I am doing laundry. Blah. What a fun thing to do on a Sunday. (not really) I don't enjoy doing laundry anytime during the week here. I would much rather have my own washer and dryer in my own space. Oh well, I should at least be thankful that I can wash my laundry, so I need to stop complaining. The complaining shall stop now. 

Anyways, last night I watched He's Just Not That In To You. How many of you have seen it? I don't care if you are happily married, in a relationship, single, whatever...every female needs to watch this movie. After watching this movie it  opened my eyes to a lot of things.

 1)I need to stop leading others on in terms of how I might feel about them. I'm not just talking about my feelings with guys here. I am talking about my feelings with my friendships in general. I am way too nice. I am always too concerned about hurting people's feelings. Why should I go out of my way to make sure the other person doesn't get their feelings hurt? Because in the end, the person that suffers the most is myself. 

 2) When someone no longer wants to be my friend or they put a distance between Why should it matter so much to me? Am I being a good friend by seeking them out by making sure they are doing okay? Or am I being a pain in the ass by bugging them? Probably the second one. Plus, they are the one being the bad friend. I should deserve a friend that wouldn't think to leave my side in the first place, right?

 3) I realized that a lot of my past friendships and relationships have evolved because I was the one that sought out the other person. When this happened I've been miserable, unhappy, and each time the relationship/friendship has failed. Do I have bad judgment? Eh, it is just what I am seeking is not necessarily healthy. However, the people that seek me out, those relationships have flourished. They are beautiful, and they are exactly what I've needed in my life. Now, readers, I know some of you are probably sitting here trying to determine which one of these friendship/relationships you are. Please, don't.  If you really are that concerned about where our friendship stands,  you can message me. ;) 

I found this quote from the movie:

This is my favorite quote because of the last line " never gave up hope". Each of us refuses to give up the hope to find happiness. I am learning that that happiness can not come from anyone else but myself. No one can provide me that happiness. Happiness is able to found. We are just looking in the wrong place. We have to love ourselves before anyone can love us. Moving here my life has changed tremendously. I feel like the last six months has been such a pivotal turning point in my life, because as mentioned in my last post I have really questioned who I want to be and what direction I want my life to take. I feel as if a lot of people don't realize that they have so much power in making these changes in their life. I also feel like disconnecting myself from everyone as much as I can has really helped me make healthy determinations for myself in terms of what I really want. I haven't known how to not take everyone's opinions and comments so seriously. I've really needed to decide what Ashley wants in life. Sometimes I felt so overwhelmed by what others would think, that I couldn't even purchase my own clothes I wanted to wear without consulting with others first. hat is just one little example. Let me tell you how much of a relief I feel now that I have my own sense of self to feel like I can freely make my own choices. I know. Crazy, huh? Some of you might not have had any idea I battled with this. But guess what? I did. Confidence is a beautiful thing. Don't ever let your confidence lose its "sparkle".

Basically, my self revelation is...going forward I am not going out of my way to make an extra effort to go about and beyond to be super spectacular. It sounds harsh. I need a break.  Whenever any of my girlfriends come to me for words of wisdom when it comes to guys, I will direct them to the movie I just watched. Really...go watch it! Same when they complain to me about their friends...why put in the effort? If someone really wants to be your  friend they will be your friend. The end. Right? If someone really cares for you they will contact you, right? 

Basically, what I am trying to say in all relationships/friendships some good advice to think about:

Thursday, June 6, 2013

She's Back, and She's Bloggin'!

I'm back! 

I know, I know, I kept saying I would update this for months now. My apologies to everyone especially specific people that really stick out in my mind like Nita, Amy, Jennis (I need to post her meatball recipe), Emily and Kara (they have some products I will be featuring soon), and ...yeah...those are the first people that pop in my head as I begin to write this. So, my apologies, and thank you for being so patient with me. I hope you enjoy this long awaited updated!

As many of you are probably wondering: Where the heck have you been?
Well, I am going to share that with you! I haven't wanted to blog the past six months because you know the Gold Rule: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

It is not that I necessarily didn't have anything nice to say. I just didn't want my blog to be nothing but negative vomit. As you all remember, I moved to New York about six-almost seven months ago. Adjusting to a new place is never easy. Making new friends, learning a new area, and discovering how you fit in to your new world can be a very overwhelming process.

Through all of this I feel like for the first time in my life I had a moment where I woke up one day, and I just said to myself: "Oh my gosh, I am 24". Ha, yes, go ahead, get your giggles out now. It sounds funny reading it, because it sounds ridiculous to me as I type it, because literally, I felt like I was having a meltdown at the fact that I was...

  1. 24 without a completed college degree 
  2. 24 and did not have the nice twenty-four-year old wardrobe (ya know, the one that doesn't have stains on it from cooking, dealing with kids, being a house wife...ya know...) 
  3. 24, and I didn't have the nice twenty-four-year-old body. 
  4. 24, and I couldn't go do twenty-four-year-old things (what do twenty-four-year olds do, anyways? I don't even know! THE ANXIETY!) 
It was like I needed to be listening to a Taylor Switch song about being 24 and depressed, instead of being 22 and carefree and happy. If you have no idea what I am talking about, please enlighten yourself by watching the following video. Go ahead, laugh with me a little. 

As all of this went through my head, I realized that I had the power to change everything on my list. I also realized that I had made some life choices that set me apart from my twenty-four-year-old peers. I made the choice to get married, have children, and raise a family. My list was obviously impacted because of those choices, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have the best of both worlds. So here is how I've changed the things on my list...

  1. 24 without a completed college degree? That is okay. You want to know why? Because it wasn't my time to go to college right of high school. I am happy that I made the choice to get married, and start a family, because I have two beautiful boys.I took classes on and off online. I've never given up on this dream. I want to encourage anyone reading this to never give up. It might take years to complete, but always keep at it. Remember: A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but her own wings. Always believe in yourself. With that being said, meet your St. John's University undergraduate student!
  2. 24 without a nice wardrobe? Ha, well, I've had to buy new clothes, because I've been working on number 3 as well. So, the new clothes I buy I make sure to take really good care of. At home around the house, I do not wear my nice new clothes. Also, I never buy full-price. You know how much I like my deals. Nice clothes can be affordable! It is also easy to create "look-a -like" outfits. I am all obsessed with dressing nice now that I live here in New York. Please, help me. If there is some sort of blinders I can buy for my eyes when walking down the street so I don't look at the window displays, please let me know where I can find them! 
  3. 24 and without the nice twenty-four-year-old body...uh, hello, I had two kids! Okay, now, number 3 is very vain of me. Yes, I know. It is a beautiful thing to have a baby. It is. I am not denying that. It is not a beautiful thing to feel like a blob with tiger stripes afterwards. Again, the only person in control of 1) feeling that way and 2) the way I look is myself. Since I am responsible of my health I decided to  step up and do something about it. I needed to. If some of you remember from earlier posts I was at risk for being pre-diabetic, That is all at bay now. I feel great. I've lost a lot of weight. Not that numbers matter at all. They don't. It is all about feeling healthy. 
  4. Haha, I am still trying to figure this one out. But I am going to say this: if anyone has extra tickets to the Justin Timberlake concert and would like to take me/ and or send me that sounds pretty twenty-four-year oldish to me, and I would absolutely love to go! 

That was one little portion of what has been going on in my life the past six months. I've also been slowly eliminating my life of things that I believe to be "toxic" to me. In a way I guess you could say the past six months has been a detox of sorts. That is why I have been very turned-off from Facebook, Instagram, even texting, calling people back, blogging, or wanting to spend time with people in general has been difficult for me. For those of you that know me, know this is not typical. I thank you for patiently waiting, understanding, and knowing that I am okay. I've just needed time to work on the most important person in my world: myself. Often times we spend so much time focusing on others, that we fail to recognize that we need to take a moment to just breathe. 

So, the next time you invest your time in helping someone, invest wisely. As I was typing this one person came to mind. Someone very dear to me. My Debate and Forensics coach in high school. I actually spoke with him on the phone the other day. He devotes so much time in helping his students succeed. I would have to say he is one of the most selfless people I know. So, thanks, MH. I know you are probably reading this. Thanks for investing your time in me. For being one of the people that always believed in me. The gift of your time throughout the years has meant a lot to me. Which, by the way, I hope your meeting for Nationals went well, and good luck! 

You know who else came to mind while typing this? Mothers. All mothers. They devote so much time.Nothing, but time. They are on call 24/7. 

Throughout all of this, I've learned that people in my life will come and go, and I should stop investing so much concern in others; I've learned the importance to take each day at a time; I've learned to laugh more; I've learned to appreciate a moment, because it will soon be just a memory; I've learned that crying will get me absolutely nothing; I've learned that my smile is way more beautiful than my frown; I've learned that my kids grow-up way too fast, and I need to enjoy them more; I've learned that I am beautiful; I've learned that I can go and do anything I set out to do (as Nike says: Just Do It!); I've learned that my confidence is my greatest weapon. 

Well, my darling bloggers, that concludes my "breaking my hiatus" post. I have a LOT of recipes to catch-up on. I think all of you will be very pleased! I also have some wonderful friends I need to introduce to everyone! Yes, I did just say that, go ahead, reread that sentence once again Alex, because I will be writing a post highlighting you, and your Hawaiian pizza that I have yet to post. Alex has a sweet boy Sebastian. Her and Sebastian are our Sesame Place adventure goers! I have so many wonderful things to say about mi amgia, but I will save it for my post!   Don't worry, I won't post a picture of your face...or will I?! (evil grin). I also have an amazing friend named Emily to introduce to everyone. She is very quirky, and in fact much like myself. I actually have an entire post planned to write on a bracelet that she gave me. I also can't wait to feature all the cool runs we will be going on! I also can't wait to introduce her sister-in-law to you: Kristie. Seriously. I think I need to just be adopted into their family. They are the sweetest. I love them. I will also be introducing our friends Charna and Emma. Emma helps babysit the boys. We love them too! I will also have to introduce Lushka. She is the lady that does my hair. She does a fabulous job, if you ask me! I need to see Jessica and Marco and have some Spanish food soon! (If you are reading this, we better set this up!) You've met my neighbor Jenny and Chloe in my Target post, but Chloe is too cute not to do an update post on, especially showing off her cool bubble maker. These are pretty much the people I interact with regularly. It is so nice to feel like New York is finally becoming "home". I didn't even know it could feel like "home". Speaking of home, I decorated. Okay, so now that you have an overview of what to expect in the following posts, I've missed all of you! I'm happy to be back!

EDIT @ 10:12pm: I also will have to introduce everyone to Manny. What the heck was I thinking? Manny is my furry friend that lives in my building. He is Matt and Michael's furbaby. Yes, I know random. I was just laying here thinking about the first time I ever came to New York. It made me think of Emily. Which made me think of her furbaby, Stanly. Which made me think of dogs. Which made me think of Manny. See, don't you love being inside of my head this late? is time for bed. Good night!