Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Target Trip from Hell.

Yes, you read correctly. The title of this post is entitled Target Trip from Hell for a reason. Be prepared to join me while I laugh about the experience. 

First, a little background:
I met this super awesome gal on my floor named Jenny. She has a little girl (sooo stinking cute, by the way), and she is also the one that taught me how to parallel park. She has a dog named Batman, the most delicious candy canes ever, and the cutest apartment. Today, we decided to make a trip to Target to buy decorations for my apartment. I was really excited. I love Target. 

We decided to meet in our lobby at 2:30pm. No problem. As we were getting ready to catch the elevator, she invited us in, because she couldn't have the other half of her baby wrap-carrier-thing.  By 2:35pm, we are heading to the car. (please note, baby wrap-carrier-thing is in the car, but other half was left in the apartment) We decided to take one car. I figured this would be easiest, because I wasn't familiar with the whereabouts of the Target we were going to. We drove to my car, so I could get the car seats. As I was putting them in, this happened:
Yes, I ripped my leggings. My brand new leggings.

 Allen decided that he was going to throw a fit, because he didn't want to sit in the middle between the two car seats. The only issue, the car seats weren't fitting in properly. Long story short, we spent thirty minutes trying to get Allen buckled in. We eventually gave up, and let him sit in the seat he was whining over. I hate giving in to him, but after thirty minutes, I didn't want to fight anymore. I finally got in the passenger's seat, and we were on our way. 

We arrived at Target in one piece. Thankfully. As we entered, we were greeted by the smell of vomit. Someone had puked in the entryway. Gag. We proceeded to get carts, and make our way through the store. I was really relieved that Allen was laying down in the cart being calm, and Mason was enjoying a snack. Whew, after the horrific tantrum, I was optimistic that my children couldn't behave any worse. 

After about twenty minutes, Mason began trying to climb out of his seat. Then, he wanted to open the candy canes. He then wanted to climb into my arms attacking me with his sticky candy cane fingers. After I cleaned him up, him and Allen fought over a throw pillow. After the throw pillow fight, Jenny gave the boys some goldfish crackers that she was also feeding her little girl to keep her happy. My boys were calm for maybe two minutes, then they started fighting over who was going to hold everything I was putting in the cart. I picked up what I thought were two plastic wine glasses for them to hold. I figured this would be great, because it was the same item. I even confirmed with Jenny that they were indeed plastic. We were wrong. Allen and Mason shattered a wine glass moments later, because they were clinging them together. Awesome. So, not only are we leaving a trail of goldfish (oh, we spilled half the bag in the previous aisle); we were also now leaving a trail of broken wine glass pieces.

We declared our Target trip to be over, but because Target is the "black hole", and everyone that enters can never seem to get out; we spotted hats. I needed a hat. Everyone I picked up to try on was fraying or damaged. I felt like everything I touched or anything I wanted to do this trip was tainted with bad luck. Luckily, I did find a hat:
I can now check "getting a hat" off my list of things I need to do/get in order to officially be a New Yorker!

Jenny decided to go through her cart one last time to make sure she really needed all the items she was purchasing. I normally do this too, because there are so many things that always end up in my Target shopping cart. I like to call it the "cart edit". So, during Jenny's "cart edit" an ornament falls out of her cart and shatters on the floor. We can't help but to start laughing. 

I really hope that Jenny doesn't find us insane. Lately, I try to find good humor in all the craziness that happens to find me. I mean, after all...laughter is basically just cheap medicine, right? I had so much fun laughing,enjoying the madness, and shopping. I will admit, it will be nice to have a re-do shopping trip with Jenny in the future )minus children). Hopefully, she takes me  up on the offer. 

Oh, and I found this in my shopping bag:

...more goldfish. 

It is now 6:41pm, and about twenty minutes ago I sent the boys to their room to have "quiet time". They were fighting over a hot wheels toy (we only have probably a hundred of them). I just needed peace. I wanted to sit down. I just went to check on them, and they are both curled up in bed asleep. Do I dare wake them? No. I think I will silently continue to sit here and laugh at our adventure. 

There is simply nothing that compares to the joys of motherhood!

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